Viral Dating: Exhibit A

My mother and her sister have much to say about my love life (or lack thereof). And while I would rather stab my face with a fork than talk to relatives about anything having to do with sex or dating, I do sometimes realize that I have much to learn from these old broads. I recently discovered, for example, that my parents' generation was already on top of the Viral Dating game. Observe the following conversation.

Mom: So your friend, Danielle, is married?

Me: Yeah.

Mom: How did she meet her husband?

Me: She was an undergrad here, and he was a law student.

Auntie: You're saying there's a law school at this campus?

Me: Yeah. And a good one, from what I hear.

Auntie: And there's also a business school and medical school.

Me: Yeah...

Auntie: Then why is it so hard for you to find a boyfriend??

Me: ... uh... What am I supposed to do? Walk into the medical center with a head wound and go, "Help! Help! I need a doctor! But wait-- Are you single?"

Auntie: No no no. You find out where the medical students go to eat lunch, and then you go there, too.

Mom: Should be simple.

Auntie: That's what Auntie Mimi did.

Me: Who's Auntie Mimi?

Mom: You know, your cousin Amos's mom.

Me: I have a cousin Amos?

Mom: I've TOLD you about Amos! He's very funny. His wife is a doctor. They just had a baby.

Me (still not having any idea who these people are): Um. Okay.

Auntie (cutting in): Anyway, Auntie Mimi and her friends would go to the place where the Stanford medical students would eat lunch, and she would whistle at them.

Me: WHAT?

Auntie: Yes. She would whistle, and that's how she got Uncle Gerard's attention.

Me (seriously impressed): Wow. But wait... I thought Uncle Gerard was married to Aunt Vivian.

Auntie: He is.

Me: So he and Aunt Mimi dated?

Auntie: No no no. Mimi was interested in Gerard, but he didn't want to date a Shanghainese girl. So Gerard introduced her to his brother Raymond.

Me (thinking, "What's wrong with Shanghainese girls?"): Oh really!

Auntie: And at first Mimi hated Uncle Raymond, probably because she was still mad at Gerard. But eventually Mimi and Raymond started dating. And then they got married.

Me: Huh.

Auntie: So that's what you should do, too.

Me: You mean whistle like this? *Demonstrating my best suggestive whistle*

Auntie (laughing): Yeah!

Mom (cutting in): Where did you learn to whistle like that?

Me: Don't you know, mom? I got mad skeelz!

Mom: ...

Auntie: See, so easy, right?

Me: So I guess I'm ready to find myself a doctor now!

Auntie: Don't go by yourself! Go with some friends. Or people will think you're weird.

END.