Artemis Struggles with a Pirate

Artemis recently struggled with a pirate. There was some hand to hand combat, but mostly the conflict resulted from ego brushing against ego. She and her pal Viola demonstrated their wide knowledge of vocabulary with the word "defenestrate." With the help of a dictionary and a brief reading of the first place she ever read that word--a beautifully drawn Calvin and Hobbes gift from her brother--they were able to counter the dread sociological pirate who claimed a dislike for poetry. Stop, Stop, he cried, unwilling to listen to the lovely story about a boy and his pet tiger. Viola partly won him over with her limeric-ality, but he betrayed his elitist mores by insisting that bawdy poetry does not count. Particularly poetry that takes as its major source E News. He prefers Charles Bukowski and angst-ridden masculinity. When he mocked her for listening to commercial radio, Artemis privately wondered if he doesn't think Holden Caulfield his hero.

Poor Artemis. She wants a pirate who likes that he's a pirate. Not one who hopes to one day be the Governor! Alas. She'll have to continue to search the high seas for the man who'll both challenge her received ideas and love her passion for the choice and arrangement of words.