Artemis Introduces Herself

I, Artemis, have been told to introduce myself. I myself am not used to introductions, which are useless for godesses. My blooming face and hearty laugh typically either scare folks away or encourage unearned banter. Why, just the other day, I, Artemis, met two lovely men in the student union. I asked them to share a table, and before I started my salad, we were already discussing the niceties of the much maligned missionary position. Though they did not yet know I am Artemis, the men could sense my sympathy for celebacy and so were shocked when I explained the pleasure of a tongue properly placed. And all this before introductions.

This happens often, this unearned intimacy. I am both more and less serious about sexual matters than anyone else I know. And I always shock people with this: they think I'm a virgin.

But I'm not a virgin, I protect virgins; I sympathize with virgins. And I often get mistaken for a virgin. As a result of this and my playful nature, I often end up just as celebate as any virgin; and don't think I haven't wondered whether I believe that someone can revirginify herself.

But I'm a smart goddess, and I'll learn how to make introductions so that it will be clear and up front once and for all: I'm not a virgin, and I want to have sex!